


Absolve

by airute (siruru)



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, F/M, Past Relationship(s), Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 13,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siruru/pseuds/airute
Summary: Take those memories now and delete them.[TYL! Reader/Tsuna Sawada]Response to: "25 Bouquets" by Lady Red





	1. petunias.

**Author's Note:**

> this mainly between tsuna and kyoko, but you -the reader- will show up in the next chapter.

_you're a hopelessly blind fool._

**i can't stand this any longer...**

It starts and ended with a letter, as he watches her walk down the aisle. His love letter and her farewell. Tsunayoshi Sawada is stiff around the strangers filling up the church and he reminds himself that Ryohei is the only reason why he came. There is a blank expression on his face and his usually warm chocolate eyes are cold. Her eyes catch his from across the room, she tries her hardest to smile, but he turns away. He was no good in the end, anyways.

"Juudaime!"

Gokudera's voice breaks his inner thoughts, as he tries to pulls himself away from forgotten summers in Japan. In the end, they are worthless and the more pressing matters are always in Italy nowadays. The woman besides his right-hand man gives him a small smile. It seems everyone within his family has gone off and fallen in love or something close to that. Yet, the young Vongola Decimo stays behind just like his grades back in school.

"Tsuna?"

The reception is something that he can't stand, but he stays for some morbid reason that he doesn't seem to understand. Then, the true bruise to his ego sets in, as she comes walking to his table. They're alone, as her husband is off greeting guests and his guardians are enjoying the little free time they have. There is a polite but strained smile on her lips, as she stands in front of him. Her golden ring shines, as somber thoughts set in with another glass full of wine.

"Did big brother invite you?"

"Yes."

_This could have been them once._ It's all he can think, as he starts to ignore her for the one that never left him - that single delusion that keeps him awake most nights. She's talking, but he's no longer listening. Something completely different from his attitude five years prior. However, something makes it through the haze within his mind that makes him stare at her in disbelief.

"...I resented living in a cage, Tsuna."

"I would've fought everything to make you happy."

They both know it is the truth. He had even fought a losing war to see her smile, only for her to leave him standing in the dark like a fool. He gave her unconditional love and everything a girl could ask for - friends and material items. How could she say that she had hated it all? Kyoko is shocked for a moment until a faired-haired man calls and Tsuna can't help but feel a darker emotion towards the the brown-haired girl. His last words sparking a small gasp and teary eyes from her, as he stands up to leave.

"I would have given up anything for you."

"...Tsu-kun?"

"You just needed to say the word and I would have followed blindly."

**... but, it's only my heart that hurts in the end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on the flip side: [writing tumblr](http://the-canary.tumblr.com/)


	2. forsythia.

__

_i don't even know when this foolishness started._

There was thick feeling in your stomach, as you stare at the Italian landscape below. This is will mark the first time you step into the Vongola head quaters since your depature for college seven years prior. Unlike, the rest of your classmates, you had decided to head out of the country and explore more of the world before reality dragged you down. Thus, you had spent four years in America and another two working in England. However, time called you and your friend back to put you into use for the Vongla.

"How much longer, Shouichi?"

"Ten minutes."

You gave the orange-haired man a skeptical glance, as it seemed he was trying not to hurl during the entire flight. Irie Shouichi was an engineer and skilled mechanic, but there were still times that he acted like the scared and sickly teenager you had met back in Namimori. He was actually the only one you still tried to keep in contact when everyone went their semi-separate ways. It just seemed useless to keep talking to the others, as they would be doing more important things.

"Welcome to Siena-Ampugnano Airport."

You entered the busy airport carrying your baggage along with Irie, as you searched for anyone familiar. However, that quickly ended with a group of people suddenly grabbing you and screaming your name in chorus with the young mechanic's. Haru and Chrome gave you bright smiles, as Irie began talking to taller versions of Gokudera and Yamamoto. You all made your way outside to a line of black cars that were waiting. Reborn was standing there, as you kept promising Lambo that his gift was for later. The ride was long and lively, but you began to feel out of place until Haru asked a difficult question that made everyone else stop.

"Why didn't you ever send any letters?"

"...I didn't think they were necessary." 

**it's always been like this. ******


	3. wisteria.

_i don't seem to know anything now._

The awkwardness from the car ride disappears, as you hand everyone their gifts within a room in the Vongola estate. It's bigger than you thought it would be, but that doesn't compare to the gratitude and smiles your friends give you. Your gifts are an assortment of things over the years from baseball memorabilia for Yamamoto to fresh English chocolates for Chrome. You laugh at how fast Lambo is stuffing the sorted candies into his mouth, but notice that there are two gifts within your small suitcase. Reborn must have noticed this as well because he signals to a door that Irie had gone through earlier, probably to speak with the brown-haired man.

"Excuse me..."

You moved away from the lively talking that the rest of the group was having asking the flustered mechanic about his time abroad. There was two packages in your hands -one in bright orange and the other in a light brown- as you headed towards the dark hallway. Compared to the rest of the sunlit mansion, this area was more cold and gloomy and it gave you shivers thinking about it. However, you ceased those thoughts when you ended at a slightly open door with a the Roman numeral for ten engraved on it. You were about to knock when an older male's voice told you to come in.

"It's good to see you, again."

"You too, Tsunayoshi."

The brown-haired mafioso was much more taller than you had last remember, as he stands from his seat to welcome you. There are papers all over his desk and you can guess he was busy with work. It bothers you that you have interrupted his work, thus you give him a small apologetic smile. Hesitantly, you hand him the two gifts. His tired yet warm expression changes to a blank stare, as he notices the written name of who the orange box is intended for. Without notice, he walks to the waste basket next to his desk and throws it away will his other hand nearly crushes his gift. You just stand there confused and appalled at the same time.

"Why did you do that?"

"She isn't here."

There is a strong harshness in his voice that makes you step away from him, but his eyes are telling you a different story. They hold such a strong yet broken emotion in them and it makes you regret ever coming to see him in the first place. A strange silence settles in your presence for the second time today and it annoys and suffocates you at the same time. So, you step away from him again before leaving the room and promising to never enter it again. Tsuna doesn't say anything, unlike you with the feeling of dislike already building for your new home.

"I didn't know."

**nothing's change, expect now i'm alone.**


	4. red columbine.

_i agonize and become resentful._

It took a couple of weeks for you and Irie to fall into a routine within the Vongola compound. Haru, Chrome, and the children would usually greet you in the kitchen as you grabbed a cup of coffee and piece of bread, while heading to your work station for the rest of the day. Similar to Spanner and Shouichi, you were an engineer, but in the biomedical field. It was your current job to make sure that the Vongola were equipped with the latest medical technology to change a life or death situation in an instant. So, unlike the others, you usually stayed within the large mansion and away from awkward situations like the one with Tsunayoshi.

"How are things coming along?"

You looked up from the clipboard on your desk to see a brown-haired suited man standing in the entrance. He gave you a small smile, as you took a drink of the now cold coffee to calm down. Your stomach tighten hoping that he was here to talk about the new Vongola base in Namimori and its currently lacking medical stations. He moved his hand stiffly through his hair before he stared talking.

"...about Kyo-"

"Your equipment is inadequate!"

Tsunayoshi blinked at your sudden outburst before laughing at the growing blush on your face. You felt like someone had replaced your attitude's with that the of orange-haired mechanic's a couple of rooms away, but the uneasiness soon dispersed as the young Decimo nodded at your statement. He took long strides to your work table and for the next hour listened your explanation for the need of certain items written on your list.

"...I see."

"They're all necessary precautions, Tsunayoshi."

You smiled at the thought of helping the people within his close-knit group of friends, one of the reasons you loved this profession in the first place. He nodded in thought, as he heard a certain bomber's voice searching for him. You sat back down and took a bite out of the now cooled piece of bread. He began to walk away, but not before smiling at your concentrated look on the papers skewered all over your desk.

"I want you to start eating dinner with the rest of us from now on."

"Eh?"

"It's an order."

**i can't lose sleep over this.**


	5. yellow jasmine.

_how many times do i have torn apart?_

Shouichi blinks when he sees you standing in front of your work station looking at the various directions of the darkened hallways. You looked like a scolded child with your hands in the pockets of your blue jumper. It was odd of the orange-haired man to see you outside since he was the one who usually brought you dinner. You were just as obsessive with your work as him or Spanner, but it was usual for you to forget the whole world to figure out something that could better the odds for a person. He had seen that constantly in your residency back in America. It was an admirable trait, but it also put you at odds with people that didn't fully understand you. When, you finally saw the mechanic, your face brighten, as you jumped towards him.

"What are you doing?"

"Tsunayoshi ordered me to eat with everyone, but..."

"...but?"

"I don't know where the dinner room is."

You hung your head in disappoint, as Irie tried his hardest not to laugh. Unlike him, you hadn't gotten to learn the layout of the mansion. It was usually work, sleep, and eat - there wasn't a need to go anywhere else until now. You sent him a short glare before he motioned you to follow him. You stayed silent, as he made mentions on where various things were in the mansion. You glanced at everything with light wonder, finally taking notice of everything that was around. It was like that until a squeal startled you and a smaller body collided into yours.

"You're eating with us?"

"Yes, Haru."

She let go and gave you a bright smile until a gruff voice made her turn. Gokudera gave you a nod, as he grabbed the dark-haired woman and smiled lightly. Tsunayoshi came in behind him, which confused you. How many things had changed in the span of seven years? Nevertheless, you followed the rest as they filled into the classic dinner room. Everyone was there from old to new family members and it made you extremely nervous and timid, as you grabbed a seat next to the taller mechanic. Brown eyes glanced at you, and soon everyone began to eat.

"I am glad you could join us."

"Oh. Thank you, Tsunayoshi."

Dinner began and so did the cheerful chatter of everyone else. Almost everyone was eager to talk about something and they did with their own small groups. I-pin was chatting with Fuuta about school, Lambo and Sasagawa were scarfing down their meals and more. Irie was having his own talks with Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Tsunayoshi. While, you were talking with Chrome and Haru about their adventures in Italy from the Umbria Jazz Festivals to various other things and you returned the favor.

"Yeah, I remember when Tsuna and..."

The black-haired woman's voice had gotten louder, but she stopped midway and looked down in atonement. Everyone stopped momentarily, as the brown-haired man got up and left. There was a light silence in the room, as Gokudera scowled his girlfriend lightly. You fidgeted in your seat over the changed aura because you had always hated uncomfortable situations. Yet, your breathless voice let go of the thought in your head, as a certain man looked at you from the hall with brightly burning orbs.

"What happened with Tsunayoshi and Kyoko?"

" _...everything fell apart._ "

**can you tell me what's wrong?**


	6. bluebells.

**this is becoming ridiculous...**

" _I don't need to know anything, Tsunayoshi._ "

That was all the brown-haired man remembered from the dinner a couple of nights before. There was a timid smile on your face, as you excused yourself from the dinner and headed back to your room for the rest of the night. Everyone was confused at your sudden change in attitude, as Irie went to explain that you were awkward around the problems of other people and constantly found a way out of the situation. In a way, you reminded the Vongola Decimo of himself when he was younger, but he knew that you would need to come out of your shell if you were to function well with the rest of the family.

"Haru, what are you doing?"

"You're eating lunch with us, silly!"

His russet orbs blinked at the sudden noises of your distressed voice and the black-haired woman's bouts of cheerful laughter. Every since that little incident, Haru had taken up the propose of apologizing to you and something else. She was determined to make you socialize with the rest of the group, sometimes even by dragging you from work in order for you to have a meal with her and the others. It made him smile since it seemed you were getting used to her.

"Boss, are you coming?"

Gokudera looked at his boss from the door frame, as both men could hear Haru's voice from the kitchen. It made the younger man wonder how her and his right-man with clashing personalities ever got together. However, it made him see that the old saying of opposites attract was still true. The two men walked to the kitchen area where he heard a softer laughter follow the black-haired woman's.

"What did you do after that?"

The two Mafioso looked to see you and the taller woman laughing and smiling with Chrome, as Haru told you a story. However, she stopped when she saw the silver-haired man and ran to him, though he became flustered with the sudden show of affection. Tsunayoshi looked at you with a soft smile that made you blink and look away shyly. Your attitude quickly change as more people came. You were silent and demure, and as the hour passed Tsunayoshi found it bothersome.

"May I talk to you?"

He grabbed your hand, as the rest of the group was leaving to do their own things or were thanking Haru for the meal. You blinked at the sudden request, but nodded slowly to the taller man holding the sleeve of your blue jumper. His attitude became serious, as he pushed you out with his brown eyes locking with yours. You bit your lip nervously, but his calm yet warm voice made the tension disappear.

"I thank you for not prying into my personal life, but.."

"Yes?"

"...I would like you to be yourself around us more."

You blinked at his sudden request, but the seriousness on his face changed that. You blinked childishly, as a small smile grew on his face. Yet, you felt your face heat up over his next words, hoping that the older man wouldn't notice. However, that didn't stop the small pride growing in his chest as you looked at him with a crooked, timid smile of your own.

"I would like to see you smile around us more."

**...what is this turning into?**


	7. larkspur.

_i'm merely pretending now._

Over the years, Haru had grown into the role of mother for the Vongola guardians. She tried her hardest to help everyone when she could and provide things like comfort and food for the rest of the group. There was once a time when she shared this position with someone else, but the memory of their falling out was too painful for the short-haired woman. Right now, she just looked at you with a playful smile from her seat place in the round counter-top. She was happy that you were becoming more outgoing with the rest of the group besides Irie and Spanner.

"Is this how you do it, Haru?"

"Oh...yeah!"

You gave her a confused look, but continued with pouring the cake mix into the gray container. Instead of waiting for lunch, you were helping Haru make it, well more like making it yourself while she gave you the steps from her seat. Nevertheless, it was a good experience for you, a woman who mostly had lived off microwave dinners and take-out during college and residency years. It had made the taller woman happy in her little project on teaching you how to cook and other such things. She gave you a small nod of approval, as you moved next to her.

"How do you like it here so far?"

"It's...different."

She blinked at your statement, as you turned a bright red. You went on to explain the differences between the countries you has previously lived in. Even in Japan, you were simply connected to the Vongola because of your connection with a certain redhead and not actually interacting with the central core of the group. Now, it was becoming a regular routine to smile and chat with Yamamoto or Gokudera in the halls, spend meals with Haru and anybody else, or even have light and random conversations with Tsunayoshi whenever he come into your workstation.

"I like it...here."

Haru squealed and hugged you in a instant. She laughed and you soon followed suit. It was awkward, but you were getting used to it. However, unlike the bomber's girlfriend, you didn't notice a certain brown-haired man watching the entire conversation, while leaning on the door frame. A soft look in his eyes that made a sudden idea pop into the eccentric woman's head. Yet, before she could formulate anything beyond that you yelled in surprise and pushed her.

"The cake's burning, Haru!" 

"Tsuna, help!"

**what are you doing to me?**


	8. sycamore.

_i know this had an inescapable outcome._

It would be a lie if Tsunayoshi Sawada denied that he held a certain curiosity over the new member of his ever-growing family. There were things that he didn't understand about you and the way your acted. You were confident when explaining anything related to your line of work. Years of experience did that to a person, but where did all that confidence go when you thrown from the boundaries of your monochrome workspace and into reality. Yes, you could stand on your own to feet like any normal person. However, there were still times where he still saw that fear shinning in your eyes like he was staring at some scared baby deer.

"Yo, Tsuna!"

"I am coming, Yamamoto."

He answered the black-haired swordsman's call with a nod and dismissive wave. It was a common occurrence for the the brown-haired man to forget everything in order to get his paperwork done. If it weren't for either Gokudera, Haru, or Reborn, he would certainly forgo food for the entire day in order to keep everything withing a daily pace. There were treaties and papers that needed to be looked over in order to prevent any kind of miscommunication to happen that would lead to an unnecessary war. However, there had been a difference back when he started this daily routine. It was when a certain brown-haired woman would bring him something to eat, but not without a light scolding and smile planted on her pretty face.

"Stop thinking about her, Tsuna!"

The twenty-five year old choked his pen in anger, as his eyes turned into a darker chocolate tone. It had only been a couple of months since the wedding, but that didn't stop the memories jailed up within him to come out every so often. They were encased everywhere within the old mansion, but mostly came out when he was alone in his office. He needed to leave, but somewhere silent - not the kitchen or living areas were the most of his people were. So, he headed to the old Vongola library hoping to forsake his mind, but unknowingly his stomach as well.

"Oh, so that's how they work!"

Tsunayoshi's trained hearing caught the sound of a familiar voice within the old walls. Besides the courtyard, the library was his second favorite part of the mansion. For a teenager that had hated to study, he had grown to love the old bookshelves filled with from random titles to the Vongola's most intimate secrets, like the journals of his predecessors. It was usually silent this time of day, but he was surprised to see you sitting on one of the many desk, wearing glasses and a sandwich in your other hand. There were scribbled papers and other books around you and his curiosity peeked again, as he took swift steps towards your engrossed self.

"May I ask what you're reading?" 

"Ah, Tsunayoshi!"

"Yes?"

"...I'm looking at how the flame system works."

You take another bite from your meal and stare straight into his brown orbs. There is a timid smile that colors your lips, as you point to the chair across from yours. He blinks momentarily before seating down. You explain a bit on your current project to him, but still it's too vague for him to understand besides certain snippets of information. He eyes the plate filled with a pile of sandwiches beside you, as his stomach begins to growl. You laugh lightly and push the plate to his side of the wooden desk. It's quite but he is certain of what he hears, as you go back to reading. He takes a bit out of the offered morsel, more enthralled with getting into your shell than before.

"You should take better care of yourself, Tsuna."

**please, don't get let us get caught like this again.**


	9. sunflowers.

_i see your eyes waver and look away._

It was just suppose to be a simple meeting, but as Tsunayoshi looks at the group of injured men, there is dread numbing his senses. Gokudera had minor bruises, but he knows that the others might not make through the night. He was foolish to believe in this previously hostile family and his men were paying the price. However, his ears notice the sound of yelling orders and the rants for the need of certain medical supply. Brown eyes watch as the top of your jumper comes off to reveal a black short-sleeve and Irie with faceless others handling the supplies. You're cutting and stitching, as he is pulled away from the scene.

"I need defibrillator here!"

The brown-haired man stays outside the Vongola's medical center for the rest of the night. He needs to make sure that everyone is all right. Irie comes out a bit after midnight with a tired look on his face. Tsuna wants to ask where you gained all your sudden confidence and medical nohow. Yet, the orange-haired man just walks away and into his own room. Soon, morning comes and he is sleeping on a wooden chair, as he smells the scent of coffee in front of him. Toffee eyes open to see you standing there with an extra mug and a different outfit - medical scrubs.

"You look like you need it."

"Thank you..."

He takes the steaming cup and begins to drink like you do. It's different from Haru's brand, as he can taste a hint of peppermint in it. However, all he can stare at you and the anxious back and forth game that you are playing with the balls of your feet. Everything is silent, as he begins to speak, happy to hear the steady beeping of the heart machine from the other room.

"...where did you learn all that?"

"..you need vast medical knowledge for my degree. I spent nearly all seven years away working in a hospital."

He nods sipping on the cooled drink, clearly happy to have someone like you in the family. Though, Bianchi and some others have a certain level of medical knowledge, it sure wouldn't be enough to save five men from certain death. However, a thought runs through his head based on your attitude. Most would want some type of reward in the end, would you? He wondered why you choose your certain profession and before he could stop the thought slipped out of his tongue.

"Why this profession?"

"...I hate watching people die."

There is a bare look in your eyes that tells him that it is probably connected to something deeper. Maybe from your past? Yet, he is elated that nobody had to die today or that he had to see any other families cry over their loss like they have before. You work hard in your line of work and it is becoming a quality that he admires from you. There is some light groaning that catches your attention and it makes him notice the tired and overworked look on your face, as you place the mug down on a table near him. So, he stops you - a small smile on his face and his ribcage beating faster over your next words and the tiny upward quirk of your lips.

"Thank you..."

"...There is no need for compensation, Tsunayoshi."

**what are all these mixed emotions?**


	10. bouvardia.

_i keep stealing a glance._

Tsunayoshi was happy that all the men were healing so well, it was something that he told you constantly. In the weeks, the past you were needed less and less in the medical center and soon returned to your regular workstation. Yet, neither you nor anybody expected what happened next, as the five men soon returned to their own post. Apparently, through the grapevine known as gossip, they soon learned your identity and began showering you with undying gratitude. They learned of the true severity of their wounds later on and how it was your nohow that had kept them alive. They came by to shower you with gifts like tickets to the Opera and other things like a home cooked Italian meal made by their wives, so that their families could meet the person that saved their lives. Yet, it was the same answer over and over again.

"No, thank you. It's just my job."

The men were floored by such a humble answer and soon word and praise moved like wildfire throughout the divisions of the Vongola due to such a modest character. The brown-haired man could only watch as you turned down everything. Irie would stand beside him with either a smile or laugh due to the constant blush that would appear on your face. Eventually, everyone learned that you didn't handle any praise or gifts in person, so they simply left small things at the door of either your room or work. They knew you wouldn't have the heart to throw them away, which you didn't. For the brown-haired man, it was fun watching your reactions everyday, but he soon learned something else soon after.

"Shou!"

The mechanic was talking to the mafioso about a new upgrade to the X-Burner when your voice echoing throughout the halls interrupted them. You ran into the library covered in oil and other materials dirtying your jumper and holding a small device in your hands. The redhead stood up and took a hold of your shoulders. You were very animated into your speech to the older man. Your hands were moving everywhere and there was a sparkle in your eyes that Tsunayoshi hadn't seen before. Irie nodded in the parts that the brown-haired couldn't understand, as if the two of you were speaking a foreign language. Once you finished, Shouichi just laughed and hugged you.

"Congratulations!"

"May I ask what just happened?"

For some unknown reason, his tone became clipped and harsh at the sight of you. The both of you turned around, as a light blush grew on your face - probably from the overexertion of running across the mansion so quickly. The engineer exchanged glances with you, as you nodded and soon ran out of the room again. However, the Vongola tenth could see that there was a skip to your step. Emerald orbs met his, as the bespectacled man began to explain how you were trying to use a person's flame system as a regeneration of sorts for extreme injury cases. Yet, you worked more with Sun flames due to their default healing system. It had taken you a couple of sleepless nights, but there had finally been a major breakthrough in your work. Tsunayoshi just took in this new information in with a smile and feeling a type of elation in his chest for the things you were accomplishing.

" ...she seems to be very dedicated to her work."

"You have no idea, Tsunayoshi."

**i just want to look away during these times.**


	11. pansies.

_i kick, scream, and cry for the same old reason._

You stared blankly at the whiteboard in front of you. There were a million things to do right now -like fixing that mistake within the device- but you didn't feel like doing it. For some reason, you felt tired and hungry, but were too stubborn to get up. It may have been due to the current roadblock that you have been dealt in the workings of your little device, but you were not feeling very sociable at the current moment. Irie could see that when he came through the door or maybe it was he knew you best out of everyone in the entire estate. There was a worried look in his emerald eyes, as you rewrote an equation on the the board.

"...you should eat."

"I just need to figure this out, Shou!"

The mechanic frowned over you sudden attitude and sighed. He had seen a hundred times before, but never this bad before. He knew that your thoughts were somewhere else right now and the blindness that you currently held wouldn't help you forward. There was a time back in America when you had told him the reason for your eccentric behavior when it came to medicine. So young and it had impacted you so greatly. Yet, you didn't understand the notion that you couldn't make up for the past. Shouichi was about to say something when a familiar face come in due to all the commotion he heard from outside.

"You ne-"

"What is going on here?"

"Ah, Tsunayoshi!"

Tsuna blinked at the current behavior of the two of you since it was odd for the bespectacled man to be so upfront with someone. Russet orbs looked at the older man, as you went on ignoring them and with a frustrated growl erased the equation for the twentieth time. Shouichi gave him a brief rundown of what was happening, as a deep frown etched itself on his face. He might not know the full reason for your current behavior, but he knew when enough was enough. Tsunayoshi had faced a similar problem when shortly after she left and barricading himself within the confines of his office. So, with an empty yet somewhat playful smile, he was going to use the same method Gokudera and Haru used on him.

"H-Hey! What are you doing, Tsuna-"

"...getting you to the kitchen."

The engineer watched as the Vongola boss went behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up like a feather. You were blushing, as the brown-haired man began to laugh. However, you were still protesting adamantly about the whole situation and his current attitude. That was until Tsunayoshi's face changed and his voice become stone-like reminding you why he was in charge of such a powerful family to begin with. You shivered involuntarily and let the man carry you to the kitchen defeated. A clearly confused Irie was walking right behind you.

"...food brings thought."

"Yes, bu-"

"You should especially know what happens when skipping out on meals. .."

"..."

"...this attitude of yours is foolish." 

**why are you doing this to me?**


	12. peppermint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, we are half way done thorough the series. This chapter might seem confusing now, but Tsuna's side of this will be told in the next chapter.

_will i see you run as well?_

It takes a couple of weeks until you can see eye-to-eye with the brown-haired man, but he seems adamant on his request. You can only sigh in defeat at the combined skills of him and your red-haired friend. There is a huge grin on his face when you agree and that causes a small smile to bloom on your face. It's odd, because lunch is now held in the courtyard with everyone present and Tsunayoshi makes it a constant thing for him to come into your work station and demand a break. You in return are slowly warming up to the Vongola tenth.

"Tell me more about your time in America."

"...let me think."

He always ask something to fill up the air with conversation, but mostly about you rather than him. You squirm in your seat lightly -he takes notice of this- but, continue with story about your earlier days. Sometimes, the others are there to listen or Shouichi with whom you exchange little American jokes with to the confusion of the younger man. It becomes more frequent with time, but you don't notice what everyone else is. He's _lighter_ around you to the excitement of Haru and the distress of Gokudera. Yet, it just seems like a simple blooming friendship in your eyes and his.

"...how was your day?"

"...it went well."

He gives of a dry laughter, while you just nod. Tsunayoshi had been away for a few days and had only come back the night before. Yet, he found himself automatically at your side during lunch much to your awkward displeasure. It's weird because Haru keeps asking you how you think of the toffee-eyed mafioso since he and the rest of the guardians left. It's the same clipped answer much to her disappointment and you're much happier now that the bomber had taken her attention away. Nevertheless, there is something different about the man next to you as well and it brings all that fear you had from the start back. You heave an exhausted sigh that gravitates all his attention towards you again.

"Are you all right?"

"...just tired."

A dark look cross his face and he knows that you have been working too much again. You know he is trying to be a good boss and to a larger extent friend, but you don't what to feel constricted by him either. A sour look pass through your face and maybe, that's what makes his soften just a bit. He gives of a light yet embittered laugh that makes you blink. You don't say anything though as he takes your hand. He speaks in a tone that seems slightly different from that of a concerned friend. This was what worries you the most, as you try to look away.

"...take it easy."

"Of course, Tsunayoshi."

"...it should just be Tsuna, by now."

**why are you changing?**


	13. china aster

__

_i look in the mirror..._

There is a serious aura to the room full of suited men, as if they are dictating the fate of the world, and maybe in some ways they are. This is the sixth time that Tsunayoshi Sawada had come to a meeting like this, last year it was Milan -- this year it is Venice. The location always changes for security proposes, but unlike the year before the brown-haired Mafioso does not seem to have his head clearly in what the other famiglia leaders are saying or agreeing upon. Sure, there is a resigned and understanding look on his face and he catches most of what they are all saying due to his trained hearing, but he doesn't have the heart to keep on going for the day.

"I believe that we should..."

For some unknown reason, it's weight it too much for him to handle at the current moment. The bomber knows his boss to well, as with a distant flicker of russet colored eyes, he asks for a five-minute break. He ignores the confused murmurs and grunts, as he drags off the confused man outside and away from the blank yet disapproving stare of Reborn.

"...have you called home, yet?"

"She's mostly been with Irie, boss."

The cold Venetian air sent a shiver down the young man's spine, as his right-hand man spoke and lit a cigarette. It had been several days since the guardians left the estate and Gokudera often found himself calling Haru like he always did when he was always. However, Tsunayoshi made sure that he always asked about a certain engineer back home, which the black-haired woman happily replied to. Yet, she didn't have to deal with the hushed sentiments the Vongola Decimo would show when he heard the red-haired man's name with yours. It was true that you and the mechanic had a rather complex relationship, but nothing that went beyond what a brother and sister might have. Everyone could see this, except for the brown-haired man.

"Is she working?"

"...too much."

Tsuna's frown deepened, as he stared at the glistening water canals that made the city famous. It mirrored the nighttime sky, while bringing a type of nostalgia to settle in him when he thought of you and the degree you worked yourself to. He had been like that once and he wondered what would happened if he wasn't there to stop. You were a natural workaholic, yet there was also some type of obsession behind your work ethic. It was a shell that he wanted to break. It was that same curiosity building up again, but with something else slowly changing it as well. He smiles bitterly with an exasperated sigh escaping his lips, as the silver-haired man began to speak again.

'"You've really gotten attach to her, boss."

"...excuse me?"

Tsuna blinked at the sudden announcement made by his Storm guardian, as Gokudera gave him a roguish smile. Just like in middle school, the young boss didn't understand what was going on around him. However, a thick blush grew on his cheeks as the older man began to explain the changes he had seen in him since you had entered the Vongola's life. Tsunayoshi grew serious over the little details that everyone had seemed to notice -- the hospital incident, the conversations, even the kitchen trip- and made him grow stiff and distant. Nevertheless, he continued to listen, while time seemed to slow down, as the little break came to an end. His heart started beating faster and faster over the sudden realization. Yet, he headed back inside with something completely new overcoming his thoughts besides you.

"Gokudera..."

"Yes?"

"...don't jump to conclusions."

_...and find myself look at you._


	14. rhubarb.

_i was captured._

You smiled at the completed prototype on the metal table. Work was one of the things that helped you calm down after drinking tea or talking to Shouichi. You heaved a relieved sigh and wiped the sweat off your neck. A tiny smile bloomed on your face over a job well done, as you sat down on the metal stool. However, you were a thousand miles away and back to the sight of brown orbs from a few days before. It had been a couple of weeks since Tsunayoshi had come back from his trip to Venice, but his new attitude was confusing you.

"...is it me?"

Ever since, he had come back, there were times the brown-haired man was very affectionate towards you - like with sudden lunches, smiles, and endless laughter. However, there were also times when he won't come looking for you or give you the cold shoulder during a meal. Honestly, this confused you and brought back the fear from the first day that you had meet him. This caused you to withdraw from the Vongola leader and the rest of the family as a result, thus spending more time in either your room or work station.

"Hey, are you busy?"

"...no."

You blinked at the sight of the black-haired woman at the entrance, as you shook your head. A grin grew on her face as she come in with a plate of food and sat down at another stool adjacent to yours. You looked at her and she have you a look that made you pick up the plate of warm soup. She smiled once again, as you stopped eating. The question slipped from your tongue and it made her pretty brown eyes blink in surprise.

"...do you think Tsunayoshi is mad at me?"

"Why do you think so?"

You put the bowl down and begin to tell her everything that has happened since his return. It felt normal to talk to her, as you didn't notice the spark growing in her eyes. She nodded every now and then, as you made certain hand signals as you talked. It took you twenty minutes to finish your part of the story and by the time were done Haru had a small and somewhat mysterious smile placed on her face. You blinked, as she came closer to you and her next question sent a blush and confused look cross your face.

"How do you feel about Tsuna?"

**what i'm suppose to believe in now?**


	15. lavender.

_it's because of these crazy thoughts._

"...i don't know."

Haru's question sent a shiver down your spine. Her bright camel eyes filled with curiosity that just made you more confused. What was the right answer? Maybe, that Tsunayoshi was just a friend, a confident, or simply your boss. However, that didn't fit the way he was asking with you at the current moment. You just looked away from her gaze, suddenly not feeling well. A pain ache made it's from your stomach to your heart, as she seemed to understand. She just smiled and told you to keep eating, as she left the room. Yet, you just pushed the food away and headed to your room for the rest of the day.

"...this is so confusing."

It would be like the for the next four days, while you would only open the door for Shouichi. You were fearful of being near the brown-haired don. Haru had opened at torrent of questions and doubt towards him and yourself. The red-haired man would hand you the food and smile grimly at you. He would ask what was wrong, but you would just stay silent. It worried him, since there was only one other time that he had seen you like this. Yet, he didn't tell you who was waiting behind the door either.

"Is she all right?"

"...she still isn't talking."

Irie nods his head in a negative response, as Tsunayoshi suddenly frowns. Gokudera had told him about the conversation with Haru and he knew that this the way you would react. He had been trying to take it slow -hopeful, that you would notice- in an attempt not to scared you away. You were too fixated with **everything else** to notice. He didn't know if this was a blessing or a curse, yet he knew he had to take action. The mechanic left, as the Vongola Decimo stood in front of your room and knocked on softly on your door.

"Shou?"

"No, it's Tsuna."

Your voice grown softer and he's picks up different sounds coming from your room. He pushes his hand through his wayward strands of hair, as you slowly open a crack on the door. He smiles, as you look him before looking at the ground. There's a red blush on your face that makes his smile grow more. You shuffle back and forth, as he begins to speak.

"...about what Har-"

"-I..."

"Yes?"

"I'm confused...I feel like I can't trust or be near anybody."

There's a dull ache in his chest at the sound of those words, but he finds it understandable. He nods at your secret request. You're still looking away and a plan forms in his head. You're about to close the door when he grabs it and moves closer to you. He probably deserves this for not being straightforward with you, but he loves the thick blush growing on your face. He smiles ruefully, but speaks in calm tone of voice.

"We'll speak of this matter later, understood?"

"Y-Yes!"

"Thank you."

**i won't let you catch me.**


	16. purple hyacintha.

_i'm calling out to you._

You stare at the pieces of metal and bolts scattered around your worktable. There is a pensive look on your face, as you mechanically grab the screwdriver closest to you. The device was still lacking in certain areas, but you didn't really feel like working for the first time in a long while. Shouichi had managed to remove you from your room after the fifth day; however, not without heavy persuasion and making sure that Haru was nowhere near you. It's not that you were angry with the black-haired woman, but rather worried on what other nonsensical questions she was bound to ask you. The first one had already shaken the foundation on what you had thought of Tsunayoshi. You didn't want that to happen again.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Tsunayoshi!"

"Is it all right to come in?"

You nod at the brown-haired man's question, as he smiles slightly. He makes his way to a metal stool with a small plate food. However, unlike other times, you noticed that he was simply wearing a loose button-up shirt and not the full suit you had usually seen him in. You blinked at this sudden change before turning away to look at another direction. You seemed to have taken up noticing more things about the Vongola boss after that incident with Haru. It made a light redness appear on your face, as Tsuna sat down, confused on your sudden change in attitude as well. To him, it seemed like you were still guarded from everyone except the red-haired mechanic.

Haru says that she's sorry."

"It's not her fault."

You shake your head in a negative gesture, as Tsuna looks on endearingly. Even now, he can you are calm about the situation, but also fretful on what you have caused with the older woman. He tries to ensure you that everything was going well, that Haru had even made you the lunch he had brought. Reluctantly you smile and take a bite out of the sandwich. Neither you nor her have a bad bone in your body to stay made at the other over silly reasons and that makes him happy. Yet, he is curious about your strange attitude in the previous week. So, he asks and receives the sight of you stuttering and your face growing into an abnormal shade of red.

"I-It's y-you."

"Me?"

"Your recent attitude has been confusing me."

Tsuna blinks at this statement, as you shake your head and turn away from him. He has to keep down the roguish smile that threatens to surface at the sight before him. He knows that he has to play his cards right if there is a chance for you to notice him more. Things can change in ten years and he has picked up few tips and tricks along the way. So, he stands up silently from his current place and walks to your side of the table. Before you can say anything, he's already holding a reddened cheek in his hand, as he makes you look up at him. He smiles and your heartbeat is drumming into your ears, while you believe to what Haru was really trying to ask you.

"Forgive me, if I have caused you any discomfort."

"I-It's a-all r-r-ight!"

**i'm starting to fear these new feelings.**


	17. frangipani.

_how long have i been like this?_

Everything returns to a strange sense of normalcy. It's not that you and Tsunayoshi are ignoring each other, but there was something else there now. The two of you weren't ignoring each other, but you honestly couldn't look at each other anymore without blushing and looking the other way. The brown-haired man wasn't forcing into anything that you weren't ready for, because you were rather fearful of reflecting on what you were truly feeling around him. Thus, summer turned into autumn and gave you a beauty scene of crisp brown skies and slightly chilly days. With Gokudera on another mission, you and the others became the center of Haru's world once again. She found every chance to take you, Chrome, and the children out and see the beautiful Italian scenery. It was nice, though you flushed at being a doll and the black-haired woman making you wear your first skirt in a very long time.

"How does she look, Tsuna?"

"Plea-se don't answer that!"

Tsuna looks at the out that his friend picked out for you and the blush adorning you face. His eyes darkened slightly at the sight of your hair down -different from your usual bun- and the beige skirt with brown boots. This was the first time you looked so feminine and he liked it. However, he would never say it at out loud. It would give him away and opted for a small smile followed by a general comment. He watched from his office, as the three of you were dragged away by the energetic woman. A smile on his face, as he set continued his paperwork that was until he was a white envelope in his desk in an all to familiar writing. His heart thumped in his chest because he knew none else that could help him would be in the mansion for the rest of the day.

"Gao!"

"Natsu, right?"

It was rather late in the evening when all of you came back from a small concert and dinner that Haru had planned. Everyone had already gone to be or was elsewhere, you were about to do the same when you saw a small lion staring at you from the hallway. You remembered Shouichi telling you about the box animals before you had started your project. You knew that this was a sky lion and there was only one person within the home that held that flame type. The small animal looked at you with bright toffee orbs that reminded you of its master, as you decided to follow it. It led you into an eerie hallway, but you stopped when you come up familiar door that made you stop.

"I can't go into Tsunayoshi's office!"

"Gao..."

The animal gave you a look before entering the office. The fear was building in your stomach from the last time you had been in there, that broken and angry look still sent shivers down your spine. However, you then heard a light moan coming from behind the door, sending your mind into overdrive. What is something had happened to Tsunayoshi? Maybe, that was the reason the sky animal had brought you here in the first place. So, with a lump forming in your throat, you slowly entered the moonlit office. Natsu was curled next to the brown-haired man's body on the floor. He was using his jacket as a makeshift pillow. You gasped and ran quickly to your boss, unaware of the bottle and glass placed on his desk.

"Tsuna!"

"Eh?"

You were in a panic and ran to him, doing everything that a medical professional would do. Unfocused toffee eyes stared at you, as a hand placed itself on your wrist to stop this. A worried expression was etched on your face, as the dim and broken smile bloom on his face. It reminded you of the first you had seen him again, breaking the present you had brought for the orange-haired woman. His infatuation for years, maybe, it was something that you couldn't compare to. You sank into the plush rug in shock, as he placed his head on your lap. He placed your hand into his hair, while he then relaxed into the fabric of your skirt. A crumpled piece of paper on his other side with an all too familiar named signed at the end and the word "goodbye" next to it. You didn't say anything; just kept stroking his hair and a slow hum replaced the lump in your throat. Yet, nothing could heal the one forming in your heart over his next words and bitter laughter echoing throughout the empty office.

"...always no-good Tsuna."

**maybe, we were never meant to be happy.**


	18. marigolds.

_this isn’t about you._

“A married woman doesn’t do that!”

You listen to Haru’s argument with the silver-haired bomber for the millionth time in a day. The couple had found in the early hours of the morning, sleeping in the same position that you had found Tsunayoshi in. Gokudera had been furious thinking that you had done something to his precious tenth, until Haru backed up your story and they found the crumpled letter between the brown-haired man and the small lion’s body. Needless to say, someone made the Storm guardian apologize to you profusely, as Haru called in Yamamoto to help take the sleeping man into his room. You hadn’t seen any of them since this morning, but the black-haired woman was still angry from what she had read in the letter mailed only a couple of days ago. 

“You agree with me, right?”

“…I suppose.”

Brown eyes flashed dejectedly at your form, before sighing and retuning to her place on the countertop. You didn’t know what the former school idol had written to get both Tsunayoshi and Haru into such elated moods of resentment and misery. However, you did agree with the first part of her sending the letter in the first place. Maybe, that’s why your hand kept shaking in some unknown emotions, as she kept talking and olive eyes kept looking on from the shadows. He had sure dug himself into a hole this time, and your silence throughout the entire event wasn’t helping either. The Vongola Decimo had been asking for you since he woke up, but it seemed that neither yourself nor Haru would go near the other side of the mansion right now. 

“I thought he was doing so well too.”

“…"

“He seemed happier with you.”

The older woman kept ranting, as she made lunch. Yet, all you did was choke on your coffee, as a blush took over your face. She just laughed at your antics, while you looked away. Even if you denied, most people could tell what you were feeling for the young boss —unlike yourself- and that it was returned. Now, all of that was shattered and that thought made your heart lurch painfully, but you kept that to yourself. Maybe, this was fate’s way of saying that this was wrong. Could you ever be with a man that loved another? That thought haunted you for the rest of the day and through most of your late working hours.

“Could we talk?”

It was in the middle of the night when you heard his voice again. The pajama-clad man walked into your workstation with a desolate look on his face. You looked around for a while and wondered how he escaped his right-hand man’s watchful gaze, but you knew that he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. So, you nodded timidly and put your wrench down, sitting silently, as he began to pace to and for. He pushed a hand through his brown bedridden locks and it almost made you smile. Yet, you straightened in attention when he began to speak and your eyes widened at his next words. Your heart was on your sleeve over his drawn out voice and the misery painted on his face over a single woman that he had loved nearly all his life. Surely, fate liked playing games with you.

“I will tell you everything…”

“…”

“…but by the end, I hope you are willing to come with me to Namimori.”

 

**i don’t think i can find you.**

 


	19. morning glory.

_why am i still stuck in the past?_

"...I don't to go to Namimori!"

"Have you ever thought of letting go?  


* * *

  
"It's nice to see you, again."

Kyoko gives both you and Tsuna a strained smile over the scarf covering her lower face. The Namimori winter is particularly cold and crisp, as if almost sensing the air between the three of you. Even after Tsuna had explained everything, you were still apprehensive of retuning to your hometown. It had taken Shouichi's coaxing through several late night talks that eventually changed your attitude. Thus, leading you an a rather awkward plane ride to Japan to see the former school idol that had written a letter to the brown-haired man. You had questions as well -mostly Haru's- but you were only here as support emotional -along with the hidden Gokudera- for the tenth generation boss. However, neither of you were expecting what she was going to say next.

"I'm sorry, Tsuna."

"W-Wha-t?"

"You were right...back in my wedding. I was selfish back then."

  
Tsuna's eyes widen at the statement, as the orange-haired woman continues to explain. It had taken her husband's own recent financial struggles to make her see what the Vongola leader meant a little bit over a year ago. It made even more sense know that she received some rather exciting news a couple of days ago. You understand her silent meaning when she happily rubs her stomach with a happy glow in her face. You smile and congratulate her, while Tsuna gives her a formal smile, yet his eyes grow dark caramel for only a second before turning back. She's asking for forgiveness in person because she thought something this important could not be done through the phone or simple letter. He is hesitant for a moment before looking at you and then turning back a nodding rather solemnly. 

"Thank you, and..."

"Yes?"

"...I hope you find your own happiness, one day."

Kyoko smiles briefly in your direction before turning to walk away. Tsuna clamors in asking her if she wants to be taken home. Yet, she simply nods in a negative response and disappears into the winter landscape that is Namimori. Tsuna sets himself on a wall of a local cafe and starts to look up at the graying skies above. He lets out a frustrated sigh and tightly grips onto his brown tresses. He looks at you with a mixed batch of emotions shinning in his sepia orbs. 

"I thought she was going to say something else..."

"Like what?"

"...anything just not,  _I'm sorry_."

You blink at his confused statement. He returns to looking at the skies, as you slowly walk and rest on the wall as well. Seeing Kyoko again must have drained him to the core, because he places his head on your shoulder. Tsuna begins to mumble incoherent words that you don't quite understand - half of the time naming Kyoko, and the other half calling you out softly. You place your glove-covered hand into his hair and begin to pet it softly with a low hum rising from you voice. For a moment, you forget the confusing emotions this man brings you and more adamant in helping a friend dealing with heartbreak.

"Things aren't suppose to go the way you plan them, Tsuna."

"Mmm..."

"Life does that to everyone...you and me."

**i'm still a coward hiding from the future, in the past.**

 


	20. rosemary.

 

_i'm begging you, please smile._

"Please be safe."

Tsuna smiles, as you wave from the doorstep of his mother's home. Your small group had stayed in Namimori for a few days to clear things with Hibari, but also for the brown-haired man to spend time with his mother. Nana Sawada was still as energetic as ever, hugging and preparing meals for his son and the wayward group that still lived in her household. She smiled at you during breakfast and it sent a pain full shock through your own heart thinking of your own mother. That was one of the reasons Shouichi had wanted you to go to Namimori, to make amends to the woman. Tsuna knew this, but not the whole story.   


 

"You finally came back."

The winter chill makes you pull into a jacket a bit more than before, as a pair of identical color eyes keep staring at you - condensing you. A grave maker in front of the both of you melding with the surrounding scenery, which is ironic since she was never like that in real life. Her favorites flowers placed near the top, as the two of you keep staring. He hates you, but you have become apathetic towards that hate. Your older brother blames you for the accident, and maybe that become the single driving force to that path you took from that day on. Never wanting to see people hurt or suffer, doing your hardest for families not to suffer something that took the person they loved away. Those were always your reasons, but down the road you got tired of running away - Irie had seen that in the past ten years.   


 

"I came to say I'm sorry."

"You're a bit too late for that."

"I never meant for it happen!"

There are tears burning in the back of your eyes, as he turns and scoffs at your attitude - still treating you like a nuisance, a child. He begins to walk away, as you try to get his attention. Your lungs are burning from the screams, but he stays unmoving in his resolve to ignore you. In his mind, you're the one that made her sick, the one that caused her so much cruelty in a life she tried desperately to fight for. Your mother was sick the day she gave birth to you and just kept getting worst each day after that. There wasn't anything you could do to change that, but it was different for your older brother. No matter how much happiness you tried to bring him -her- you were still a plague to the last of her days and after you ran away and dug yourself into a hole that seemed to be getting deeper each day. It was killing you and you didn't know, but it was starting to swallow you whole - once and for all. 

"...I'm sorry." 

**maybe, it's just all hopeless now.**


	21. basil.

_how many times have i had this worry?_

"are you all right?"

"fine, tsuna."

"...then, why are you crying?"  


* * *

  
It's the middle of the night and he finds himself standing in front of your room. He can hear the small, muffled cries echoing in the darkness of the hallway. It has taken some convincing on his part in order for Gokudera to leave him alone, but he needed to know the reason why you had locked yourself up since the afternoon. You had even rejected going to his mother's home in order to eat dinner, which was a shock since you were getting along well with Nana. It bothered him deeply that something was bothering you so greatly, and he didn't know the reason. So, he knocks on your door lightly, hoping that you'll let him in this time around.

”…who is it?”

“Tsuna.”

He hears the door creak slightly and turns to meet a red-faced you. There is a tissue in your hand, as you glance at him before turning away. He blinks in question, but takes in your silent request when he takes notices that you left the door open behind you. His steps are slow and deliberate, as if he is turning his hardest not to scare you or rile up anymore-loose emotions that you might be feeling. You sit down on the edge of your bed, as the brown-haired man sits on the side. A few hiccups escape your mouth, while Tsuna begins to question you. 

”What’s wrong?”

“…I meet my brother, today.”

“…Shouldn’t you be happy, then?”

“My brother has hated me since our mother died.”

Sepia eyes widened at your declaration. He wants to say something to you keep on talking, saying things that only Irie had heard of. However, there were also extra emotions —things that had never been heard by anyone- placed in your speech, like the reason you had picked your profession, the sheer lack of no longer wanting to feel helpless in the wake of other people dying. You tried so hard because of the pain you had felt when your mother died —in her room, sound asleep- and not wanting others to feel it as well. You worked so hard these past ten years to quell those feelings and when you failed, it hurt all over again. Yet, in the end, your brother would still see you as the single reason for the death of the sickly woman, and that was never going to change. The sobbing started all over, but this time Tsuna pulled you towards his suit jacket.

”None of this has ever been your fault…”

“But!”

“You said so yourself, she was sick from the beginning.”

Tsunayoshi grabs the tip of your chin and drags you to meet his gaze. His brown eyes are calm with a hint of worry and something mixed into them. He wipes away the onslaught of crystal-colored tears running down your cheeks with a sad sort of smile painted on his face. You want to say something, but it gets stuck in your throat when his stare meets you head on. He knows what it’s like to feel useless, but there is a complete difference between yours current situation and his — and he promises to himself that he will drag away those dark thoughts from your mind. 

”You’re a sweet, compassionate, and diligent woman.”

“..Tsuna."

“Your brother may not change, but you can’t keep killing yourself over this. 

"..."

"I...We still care for you.”

 

 **is this what it means to fall?**


	22. queen anne's lace.

 

_there is something i want to believe in._

"...I hope that he gets this letter."

"I am sure that he will."

"...and maybe one day, he'll understand."

* * *

  
The plane ride is quite and you hardly stare at anything but the window to see the blue sky passing-by. Tsunayoshi and Gokudera are on the other side of the plane talking about things you would rather not listen to. Even after working from nearly a year for the brown-haired man, it is still rather odd to think that you went from working in hospitals to working for the mafia - it's like something from a movie. However, that quickly passes your mind when you think of the island underneath the plane and how you hope to return with no harsh or self-defeating feelings. You had written a letter for your brother -with Tsuna's emotional support- and left it in his mail box a few hours before the private jet left. He would need time time to understand and hopefully one day the barrier between the both of you would fall, but the mafioso was right when he said that you needed to move on.   
 

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, just thinking."

  
He looks at you with a smile on his face, as you simply nod and return the smile. He sits down across from you. There is a silence air between the both of you, but it's comforting. Olive eyes watch from the sidelines, knowing that a certain black-haired woman would be squealing at such a moment. Yet, for once Gokudera doesn't do anything, knowing that if he did, Haru would certainly have his head when they returned to the Vongola estate. You and Tsuna talk quietly about rather things, both to shy to say anything about the growth you had experienced form the other during this trip back to Namimori. 

"...I was wondering."

"Yes?"

  
There is a mixture of fear and other emotions mixed into his question and you -almost to eagerly- responded back. These are baby steps in the long run because you both are still somewhat jaded for human relations, but for completely different reasons. But, there is a sparkle in his eyes over your sudden question because he can't deny the strange feelings that have been burning in his gut since you had begun to open up to him. It's a wonderful but nauseous emotion that would be a lifetime away from him. Maybe, he is just dreaming, but he hopes that this won't turn into another awful ending fairytale again.

"Would you like to go out, sometime?"

 

**this reality can't be a mistake.**


	23. coriander.

_i'm not going back anymore._

"Would you like to go out, sometime?"

"...I would like that."

  


* * *

  
You smile, as Haru goes around your closet looking for the right thing to wear for your date with Tsunayoshi. It's still an odd thing to say to yourself, but it makes you smile as an afterthought. You remembered how excited the black-haired woman had gotten when she heard the news and the nervous pep talk that Irie had given you a few hours ago. You laughed at his nervousness and hugged him, while appreciating his good intentions. However, you were nervous as well since it had been some years since your last date -back in America- and the stomach aches were slowly taking their toll on you. You hoped everything would go well wherever he had decided to take you. It took awhile, but Haru manged to fit you into a slim, shimmering dark blue dress and matching shoes with your hair held together by small, dark star-shaped bobby pins. She smiled at her work, as she rushed you down the stairs. 

"...where are taking her, boss?"

"...el Giardino."

Gokudera smiled at the though his boss was putting into all this, as the brown-haired man fixed his tie. The silver-haired man was going to something else only to be interrupted the Haru's cheerful yelling, as they both turned to see you and her slowly walk to the entrance of the Vongola estate. Sepia eyes widened at the sight of your dress, and he smiled slightly as you blushed. There is little talk between the two of you and more of an awkward tension, as the older woman and her boyfriend smiled, pushing you to where the car was waiting. The driver -a fedora-wearing gentleman- smiled under his hat and went to the driver's seat. Tsunayoshi looked at him for awhile, as you grabbed his shoulder with a questioning look.

"Are you all right, Tsuna?"

"Yes, we should get going."

Tsuna escorted you into the car, as your began to drive away. There was a small smile on his face, as he watched you looked out the window to the lights and sounds that made Italy a beautiful country. You made small conversation about random things until the car stopped. Tsunayoshi's eyes brightened, as you turned to see the car in front of brightly lit brick steps. You stepped out with a sort of giddiness building up within you only to notice that at the end of the steps there was a small table -for two- with a fully prepared meal. The wind was chilly, but smelled sweetly of the flowers of the garden and the fountain not to far-away from where you were standing shocked. 

"Is it to your liking?"

"It's wonderful, Tsuna!"

You turned and smiled at the taller man, as he chuckled lightly at your gleeful expression. Chocolate eyes softened at the sight of your smile, as he brought his hand slowly to caress your cheek. Your smile widened, as he lead you to the table and for you to slowly enjoy yourself for the rest of the night. The two of you completely unaware of the Arcobaleno watching from below with a sly smile on his face. 

"...good job, no-good Tsuna."

 

 **i swear that my heart isn't shaking.**

 


	24. almond.

_i'm looking at you in a daze._

  
Tsunayoshi smiles from across the room, as you talk with Irie. He does quite understand the mechanics of what you are talking about, but there is an excitement in your eyes whenever you mention your nearly finished project. It had taken months and numerous failed experiments, but you were certain that the device when using any type of flame would be able to heal the user. It would be good for many of his subordinates who didn't use sun flames like Ryohei and at times Gokudera used. Everyone was having a casual lunch outside with numerous other members of the Vongola family. He found it calming that everyone had taken some type of liking to your relationship, though you used blushed and remained silent whenever someone brought it up. It seemed you were still shy -and somewhat jaded- about being in a close relationship with another human being. 

"...isn't weird dating the boss?"

"Um...sometimes...in the beginning."

You blinked at the question presented to you by some of the women in the Vongola. They looked at you with questionable looks on their faces, as you took another bite out of your meal. It made you think on the months since your first date with Tsuna. At first, you were nervous on what it would cause if anything bad between the two of your, what would that do to your working dynamic or even your friendship? Yet, there come a point when a human being had to bring down their walls and let another person in. There was always a chance to get hurt, it was just the point of whether you were willing to get hurt or not. Your relationship with Tsuna and your brother had taught you that, and made you grow over the past couple of months together. The thought made you smile underneath the early afternoon sun.

"...but, he is good to me."

"...are you in love?"

You blink at the sudden question from one of the younger and bright-eyed women of the group. A blush quickly raises onto your face, as Tsuna and a certain black-haired woman turn to watch your reaction. Haru smiled, as the Vongola tenth's heart started to thump like crazy. He wasn't sure about how he felt at the current moment. Sure, the two of you were dating, but there were still a bridge that neither of you were willing to pass into yet. He looked at your figure for awhile, as you sighed deeply with a light smile quirking onto your lips. Neither of you knew were this was heading, but it was nice to lean on someone else for the moment.

"...I don't know."

"Oh."

"...but, I am willing to take the chance and find out."

 

 **don't say goodbye to me, just yet.**

 


	25. orange blossom.

x

 _i suppose I can’t be the one._

“Megumi, we’ll be late for your first day!”

Light footsteps run down the stairs, as the mother and daughter leave their home for the sunny Namimori weather. She has her mother’s eyes and father’s hair color, but Kyoko is sure she gets her boundless energy supply from a certain uncle she’s never met before — probably never will. Just like the father —her husband- that she sees less and less of each passing day due to work and other circumstances. However, the former Sasagawa had to remind herself that even through the loneliness, he provides security and a type of wholeness when he is there. Maybe, it’s because this life of her had become mundane and normal by her own choice. She isn’t worrying at endless hours of the night when he’ll return —if he ever will, is another chilling question she doesn’t like thinking about- and that makes her happy. Or maybe, it’s the simple fact that she isn’t trapped in some empty estate that brings her a sigh of relief. Italy isn’t home —never will be, probably never was-, Namimori is. This is where she belongs, as she watches the teacher introduce himself —with oddly familiar looking features- to her daughter and asks how far she is along with her second.

“…four months along.”

 _…and she’s happy to not a bird trapped in a golden cage._

  


* * *

  
Haru smiles, as she pushes you along. The bright lights of the room welcome everyone in celebrating of Tsunayoshi’s birthday. Both you and the black-haired woman were dressed in gowns to meet with the rest of the Vongola. However, while she was full of smiles, you were worried about other things besides the party and the other Mafioso attending. It had been nearly five years since you had started dating the brown-haired man, though it was hard at first, things become simpler as time went by. The obstacles placed ahead of you had made the both of you stronger and the jaded attitude that you had grown with made it easier to talk these problems out with blunt force rather than dance around the issue. It was strange learning to trust another person besides Irie, but the little moments made it worth the struggle.

“I hope everything well with Haru.”

“Yes, I’m used to it by now, dear.”

Tsuna smiled at your affectionate name for him. It had taken him awhile for you to call him by the shorter version of his name —which you hardly did nowadays- but, when you started calling him by this — it made him smile like crazy. Yet, you were just happy to have him back at the estate again. It would be a lie to say that you didn’t worry about him when he was away, but he was a grown man and had the guardians with him at all times. Besides, he made sure to call you every night. The man was truly a caring individual and sometimes you wondered how Kyoko had failed to see that. You were extremely lucky —he was too- as, he wrapped his arm around the waistline of your velvet red dress. He gave you as small smile, as you played with his fingers. He gave you a curious look, as you began to speak but clearly looking away from. The party laid in ignorance, as he turned his full attention to her. 

“…I was going to give you a birthday present.”

“You didn’t need to.”

“…but, then I found out something else.”

Tsuna glances at you from the corner of his eye, as you pull him closer. Some of the guardians and partygoers watch you whisper something into the older man’s ear. Haru and Yamamoto smiles, while Gokudera watches the scene with a critical eye. Reborn smile under his fedora as brown eyes widened to great lengths. You shyly pull away, as he grabs you by the shoulders. Surprise and so many other emotions are running through his chocolate colored eyes as he questions you again and again. You nodded somewhat happily at his confusion and happiness mixed together. He smiles a smile that you never seen before, filled with such warmth smile that you couldn’t help but return it shyly. A blush grows on your face as he pulls you flush into his body. His kiss burns you up immediately, as you return it with equal fervor. You healed the both of each other in the process of knowing more about the other — somehow your mismatched puzzle pieces made a perfect whole. It was hard, but it was wonderful to love and be loved in return, Tsuna had taught you that. Life wasn’t just painful shades of black and white, but other magnificent colors that had been hided under a glass of jade, which both of you had grown out of — and with each other’s love and help would continue to do so. 

“Congratulations to the happy couple!”

 

 **i’m sure it’ll be like this forever.**

 


End file.
